Last night, Smokin, SeanMC and I were driving by the Woodlands Mall and we saw a coyote cross the street. This is the fourth coyote I have seen in four months. Growing up around here, I always heard them, but never saw them. Lately, since all of the building has been going on, I’ve been seeing them a lot. What worries me is this: they are being run out of their woods, their prey is running out of their woods, and assholes like this will start doing things like this:

I was educated about the true nature of the coyote after reading Barbara Kingsolver’s

Prodigal Summer

. Here are some facts about coyotes from reputable sources: Coyotes are opportunitic feeders and will eat almost anything, alive or dead, garbage, meat, fish, vegetables, berries or whatever they can find easily. Their natural diet consists mostly of rabbits, rodents and carrion. They do not normally pose a threat to livestock, however hungry coyotes may occasionally take small domestic animals or poultry. - Texas Parks and Wildlife
However, they do hunt either singularly or in relays with other coyotes. They do not usually hunt in packs as some may think. It is believed that coyotes mate for life. - Big Bend River Tours
The animals have been shot from airplanes, injected with chemicals, trapped, run down with snowmobiles and buried alive in dens. - Colorado Division of Wildlife.

Chutzpah, and Christie’s dogs are descended from coyotes. Coyotes are very nearly dogs. Can you imagine Chutzpah taking down a bull? I can’t. You wouldn’t make Thanksgiving dinner to eat all by yourself, neither would a coyote, hunting alone (which is the norm) kill a cow to eat by himself.

I was going to do this post about all of the wildlife in danger of losing their homes to the SuperWal-mart and other building in the Woodlands until I saw all of the pics on the net of guys with machine guns smiling over their prizes. Sick.

Just remember to be on the look out for animals crossing the road late at night. It’s not their fault some jerk had to have a brand new 2 bedroom box in what was once a forest, instead of buying a four bedroom house with a pool for the same price in an established neighborhood. Thanks for your patience with me while I stood on my soapbox.

Image Details:

If you don’t get it, call Bill Paxton.

Last night, or rather this morning, when I went to bed at 4:15 am, the house across the street was beige. As a matter of note I should also say that the inhabitants have barely been there over the last four months, so much so that an old lady came to our house looking for them because she thought they were missing. The boys haven’t even been enrolled in school this year. Anyway, when I walk out onto my driveway at around 4:00 this afternoon, I look across the street and the house is now Wildflower Electric Blue! How does someone paint a house in less than 12 hours? If we want to be realistic - in less than eight? Weird. Blue with blue trim?

This is a burrito. It’s smaller, the end is folded in and the cheese is on the inside. Note the freakin’ difference.

One night when Sean and I had been married just a few weeks, I asked him if he wanted pork chops for dinner.
“What is a pork chop?” he asked.
Needless to say, I was amazed that he didn’t know. How could someone get this far in life without every seeing or hearing of a pork chop?
Tonight the moment of enlightenment hit when Dean peered at me over his menu and asked: “Jinny, what is an enchilada?”

That’s an advertisement on the wall at a local hamburger establishment. It does entertain the question: “Why haven’t I seen a chicken’s nugget?”

Sean and I were recently surprised to see a squirrel’s nugget on the back of a British magazine recently. We discussed what part American prudishness played in the airbrushing of small animal genetalia.

There is a very large polar bear hovering over a taxidermist’s office on the feeder of 45 and you can see all the bear’s goods. It’s a 20 foot statue! And they had problems with old David’s wanker on top of the Oshman’s in Shenandoah?
So what’s the catch? If it’s inanimate then go for it, but if it’s a photo, steer clear? < -- Ha! Get it?

Steer Clear?

If my family has been through nearly this exact situation, then I would assume that this has happened in America more than just those two times. Why is there such an outpouring of hate about it now? First of all, before I proceed, we did not end my aunt’s life by removing the feeding tube, she contracted pnuemonia in her 11th year of the ‘vegetative state’. Therefore be rest assured I am not speaking from the corner of guilt. Both my aunt and Terry had apparantly problematic lives. I know my aunt’s story and Terry was bulemic. Now imagine this: you go from your crappy life to suddenly being in a room that smells like a diaper, has flourescent lighting, and a big naked woman masturbating and teaching the second grade at the same time in the bed facing yours. You haven’t been outside in 12 years. Conceivably they could put the TV within your line of sight but you get angry when it goes on so they don’t. You haven’t tasted good food in 12 years, you haven’t spoken your mind in 12 years, you’ve been in a diaper or had a catheter, you have gross mean jerks giving you spongebaths, you have no dignity, you can’t ask for what you want. All you have to look forward to is the next visit from a family member. You light up like a candle when they walk in the room but you thrash with fits and grunts when they leave. For 12 years saliva has collected at the corners of your mouth drying and bleeding and hurting. Your mouth is always open so it is always dry and hot and painful. When your nieces come to visit they bring lollipops and q-tips soaked in water so you can taste something else besides the dried spit, but no nurse here is going to do you that favor.

Now imagine a prison. TV, baseball, magazines, books, food, cigarettes, sunshine, the ability to move around, relationships with people even if they are prisoners, conjugal visits with your spouse, the ability to read the letters from your kids or parents. Most people think prison is terrible.

Now imagine Heaven. Imagine Heaven from my Aunt’s point of view when she got there. Now do you think we should have kept her on that respirator for ten years like my grandparents wanted her to? When my aunt got pneumonia, she was put on a respirator and began to decline. The doctors said they could keep her alive like that indefinitely if we wanted. For 13 years my family had weighed this decision. It is a horrible, terrible, gut wrenching decision to make. You think about it (even I, as a young person growing up to adulthood) every day for those 13 years. It is not an idle decision. Parents hate losing their children. My grandparents, Sean’s grandparents, Terry Schiavo’s parents. Sean’s mother had a sneak peek at the lives of Terry and my aunt, being in the hospital for over 6 months and she was quite clear when she said she wanted to go to Heaven. I fully stand behind my next statement. It is sometimes selfish to enforce life. I am not taking a position per se on this case. I am not a member of her family. But here is what I have to say about the Schiavo case to the fanatics (on EITHER side): It is an incredibly tough decision that takes decades to make, not just a few months, and takes information to pour over and examine, not just news stories, and also personal experience with the person in question. The media just needs to leave the family and the situation alone, and the government doesn’t need to be making split second decisions that could effect so many other different things.

Now, imagine my family going into Heaven and extracting my aunt and putting her back in that bed. Would that not be the most heinous thing you could imagine?

One more thing. Mary Baker Eddy would certainly not agree with the right on this one. God’s will is not necessarily being respected. Oh, and I’m not a liberal or a leftist. I’ve just been through this.

See these articles for some info. Not necessarily the best info, but from a different source:
This Website
and This Website

So. I want to know what you all think of this:

Go to this website and report back: ChristianityDaily

Go on! Go!

A public one, that is, and you’re washing up after having done, well, what you’ve done, and you’re singing along to the song raining down from the speakers, does it suddenly seem like you’re in your own private disco? Do you imagine that Barry Gibb is perched up on the ledge of a stall with reflections of the disco ball swarming all over his flourescent smile? Does the feeling and the song follow you all the way to the parking lot where you take your friend (in this case a tall drink of a smoking margarita) by the hand and spin him around while singing More Than a Woman, both you and him, laughing and singing under the foggy fake moonlight of the Denny’s sign? It would be nice if magic popped up and tapped me on the shoulder all the time, or maybe I’d get tired of it. Who knows?

I always thought that if I ever became a famous singer (not that I can sing at all) that I would be like Madonna and just use my first name because it’s spelled weird. Well, somebody got to the koolaid before I did, which makes me glad I started that new hair band . . .

Scrunchie anyone?

This is my CD

I’m an awesome Carly Simon meets Barbie Lookalike!

Coming to you live in 2005!

Jmc, Dave Chappelle, and Adam Curry singing their new hit single:

THE HOT IS IMPLIED

See them live at the Summit -

CHOCOLATE LAVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I learned something today . . .

Always have a clean house!

You never know who’s going to ring your doorbell at 1:00 in the afternoon on a random Friday, or who’s going to call when you’re on your way to IHOP on the previous random Friday.

So today, I’m sitting around wallowing in my ill health (feeling a little sketchy the past couple of days) when who should appear, unannounced, at my doorstep but my dear Uncle Freddie from Dallas and his 13 year old Paris look alike daughter and her best friend. My house was a wreck, to say the least. Well, at least to me, it was. People always tell you that your house is cleaner than theirs, but how often are they lying? You see, I think there are two kinds of people in this world: People who think their house is clean when it is a total roach trap, and people who think their house is filthy when it’s cleaner than the lobby at the Ritz. I seriously don’t know which category I fit into. But today, anyway, I felt like the filthy house girl. Luckily, for me, I know that my uncle is being entirely truthful when he says his house is the grosser one, but I have no idea how clean that other girl’s house is. My bathroom is “under construction” for Cripe’s sakes!

Oh, and it pleases me to tell you that I had a psychic moment today as well. I was supposed to go run all of these errands, but when I was on the phone with husband this morning I told him I was having a day where you get the feeling you just shouldn’t go anywhere. Good thing I didn’t or my Uncle would’ve missed me and my dirty house. I was glad he came by though. We don’t get to see him much, and my little cousin thinks I’m the world’s foremost ghost hunting guru. I won’t shy from the title. Just call me Madame Morbida.

Aren’t all words immortal?

I took the links off the Mormon posts because they were messing up my blog. If you really want to check my work, just Google the stuff, it’s all there. Yes, I should learn how to use links. Tutor, step up . . .

Tired. So tired. Maybe this will hold you all till tomorrow . . .

Cozy. Might look nice with clearish blue liquid. Hmmmmm . . .

So, Day Two in our Mormon education. Let’s start with . . .

Blood Atonement. This time I’ll bring you up to speed before I give references. In the early days it was the practice to quite literally atone for your sins through the shedding of your own blood. It wasn’t just a little blood, and you didn’t administer it yourself. For a sin such as adultery, the prophets, apostles or just about any priest (not as important as you think) or leader could convince you to willingly walk to a pre-dug grave where they would slit your throat from ear to ear, killing you. (The ear to ear thing, BTW, is because of an oath you take in the temple.) Blood atonement was sought even from people who merely left the church or spoke out against it. These people were called apostates. From the mouth of Mr. Brigham Young: “I could refer you to plenty of instances where men have been righteously slain, in order to atone for their sins.” And to the future killers: “This is loving our neighbor as ourselves; if he needs help, help him; and if he wants salvation and it is necessary to spill his blood on the earth in order that he may be saved, spill it….” Here is an example of an actual case: “In point would be a verbally reported case of a Mr. Johnson in Cedar City, who was found guilty of adultery with his stepdaughter by a bishop’s court and sentenced to death for atonement of his sin. According to the report of reputable eyewitnesses, judgment was executed with consent of the offender who went to his unconsecrated grave in full confidence of salvation through the shedding of his blood.”

If you thought that was bad: “In Utah it has been the custom with the Priesthood to make eunuchs of such men as were obnoxious to the leaders. This was done for a double purpose: first, it gave a perfect revenge, and next, it left the poor victim a living example to others of the dangers of disobeying counsel and not living as ordered by the Priesthood.” In Nauvoo it was the orders from Joseph Smith and his apostles to beat, wound and castrate all Gentiles that the police could take in the act of entering or leaving a Mormon household under circumstances that led to the belief that they had been there for immoral purposes…. In Utah it was the favorite revenge of old, worn-out members of the Priesthood, who wanted young women sealed to them, and found that the girl preferred some handsome young man. The old priests generally got the girls, and many a young man was unsexed for refusing to give up his sweetheart at the request of an old and failing, but still sensual apostle or member of the Priesthood.

Here’s why: Jesus didn’t do a good enough job: “It is true that the blood of the Son of God was shed for sins through the fall and those committed by men, yet men can commit sins which it can never remit…. There are sins that can be atoned for by an offering upon an altar, as in ancient days; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb, or a calf, or of turtle dove, cannot remit, but they must be atoned for by the blood of the man.” “All mankind love themselves, and let these principles be known by an individual, and he would be glad to have his blood shed. That would be loving themselves, even unto an eternal exaltation. Will you love your brothers and sisters likewise, when they have committed a sin that cannot be atoned for without the shedding of their blood? Will you love that man or woman well enough to shed their blood? That is what Jesus Christ meant…. ” All entries above are taken from: (Sermon by Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 4, pages 53-54); also published in the Mormon Church’s Deseret News, 1856, page 235) Keep in mind that blood atonement wasn’t a radical, fanatical punishment for “serious” crimes - the purpose was to save your eternal soul.

Living Prophets and Apostles: The LDS, to this very day, believes that God still communicates to his chosen people through the Prophet. God has called prophets to lead His Church in our day, just as He did anciently. The current prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Gordon B. Hinckley. He is assisted by two counselors—Thomas S. Monson and James E. Faust. Together, they make up the First Presidency of the Church (much like Peter, James, and John after Christ’s death).

All members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are apostles and prophets. This was taken directly from the official website of the LDS.

Mountain Meadow Massacre: This is the story the book I was reading revolved around. The Mormons, anticipating a coming ‘war’ with the U.S., killed over 120 ‘Gentiles’ to take their goods and because Brigham Young told the congregation that these people were terrible and deserved to die.

Now, what you’ve all been waiting for . . . Actually, I can somewhat tell how they arrived at this spiritual conclusion. The white garment symbolizes purity and helps assure modesty, respect for the attributes of God, and, to the degree it is honored, a token of what Paul regarded as taking upon one the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:13; cf. D&C 27:15). It is an outward expression of an inward covenant, and symbolizes Christlike attributes in one’s mission in life. Garments bear several simple marks of orientation toward the gospel principles of obedience, truth, life, and discipleship in Christ

There are, however, several articles on the net that talk about the Masonic origins of the symbols on the garments. In case you didn’t know, Old Joe Smith was a Mason . . .

The women’s underwear is traditionally crotchless.

But, I’m tired and not going into all that!

I will leave you with one last thing. On a page that I can’t remember the address of, an old farmer was talking about how he got the Mormon boys to leave him alone. He said that he was on his porch one day when two Mormon boys pulled up on their bicycles and he said to them “Now do you boys really care about saving my soul, or are you just trying to get further up in that hierarchy?” The boys gave him a nasty look, a snarl, and promptly left.

Goodnight!

Of husband’s cherry coke that is.

Now, are you ready to peek into the secrets of the LDS? Utah, Ho!

I’m not a mean Mormon basher, but I read an incredibly scary book about the early church (The Veil) and found out some of their wackier beliefs and thought that I’d tell you all about them because I know I’ve wanted to know what was behind some of these rumors for a long time. I’ve tried to find sources of info outside the book that you can look up. The lady who wrote the book is a historical fiction author and her husband is a history professor. If any of you go and convert after reading this, it isn’t my fault, you’re just a wacko.

Jesus and Lucifer are brothers. “The story of Lucifer is the most terrible example of such apostasy. … He pitted his own plan and will against the purposes of God. He strove to gain the birthright of his Elder Brother, Jesus the Christ. ” - Apostle John A. Widtsoe

God used to be a normal man. It is the first principle of the gospel to know for a certainty the character of God, …and that He was once a man like us; yea, that God himself, the Father of us all, dwelt on an earth, the same as Jesus Christ Himself did; …you have got to learn how to be gods yourselves, and to be kings and priests to God, the same as all gods have done before you, namely, by going from one small degree to another,. (History of the Church, Vol.6, Ch.14, p.305-6).

Men can become gods and have their own planets just like God. “The Father has promised us that through our faithfulness we shall be blessed with the fullness of his kingdom. In other words we will have the privilege of becoming like him. To become like him we must have all the powers of godhood; thus a man and his wife when glorified will have spirit children who eventually will go on an earth like this one we are on and pass through the same kind of experiences, being subject to mortal conditions, and if faithful, then they also will receive the fullness of exaltation and partake of the same blessings. There is no end to this development; it will go on forever. We will become gods and have jurisdiction over world, and these world will be peopled by our own offspring. We will have an endless eternity for this” (Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 2, 48).

How Plural Marriage was justified. God introduces the “law of the priesthood”: that a man can, with the approval of his first wife, marry one or more other women without committing adultery “…for they belong to him and they are given onto him…”:
61: “….if any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another, and the first give her consent, and if he espouse the second, and they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then is he justified; he cannot commit adultery for they are given unto him; for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth unto him and to no one else.”
62: “And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified.” Doctrines and Covenants, Section 132.

Here’s the catch (Secret Names): Secret names thus have a profound implication for the LDS wife. She does not know her husband’s name but he knows hers; she, therefore, is cast in an inferior role in a very real, occult sense. Nevertheless, the husband is permitted to know his wife’s new name, and I learned my wife’s (Joan), so I could call her up from the grave. Having her “new” name, he “possesses” her spirit, her essence. This gives the LDS wife no “spiritual space” of her own. She is like a butterfly trapped in the jar of her husband’s secret knowledge. This was often used as a bargaining tool or threat to get first wife to agree to let husband have other wives. The husband can refuse the wife entry into the next world.

That’s enough for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll have more: blood atonement (murder), secret handshake, living prophets, Old and New Testaments aren’t translated right, Meadow Hills massacre, Masons, the veil, Jesus didn’t get rid of all sins on the cross, and . . .

A PICTURE OF THE SECRET UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!

The First Day of Spring. For me anyway. I know for the rest of Houston it’s been going on two weeks now, but for me, this is ceremoniously the first. Why? Well, when I was a little girl in Kentucky the first sign of Spring was when the daffodils and tulips that flanked our front walk sprung up out of the last of the melting snow. When I woke up in the morning I was able to smell the daffodils and know they were there without even having to look out the window. Yes, the window was open, I’ve told that story before, and yes, I probably got in trouble on those mornings too. Anyway, because of their smell, and because of the magic of seeing them peeking out of melting snow, daffodils have always been my favorite flower, so I got some today.
Welcome to Spring - Sinus Land, that is. So now that I have been attacked by the pollen storm that has overtaken The Woodlands and the beautiful daffodils in my house are conspiring against my nasal passages, I have to postpone telling you about my recent findings about the LDS. Tomorrow you will see . . .

Watched Peter Jennings’ special on UFO’s tonight. I have to say that I am fed up with ’scientists’. Yes, I put that in quotes, and here’s why - it’s seems to me that they have over inflated egos and just can’t open their minds to anything that some egotistical jerk that came fifty years before them said was improbable. Science keeps claiming that it wants to move forward, but how can it when its primary goal is to disprove? Fossils are great and all, but shut up about it and move on to something bigger, or at least different! While we’re at it, why isn’t there a bigger movement in the scientific community to explore the sea? I’ve read that they know less about the ocean than we do about the universe!

Don’t ask.

Another interesting night for the clan. Not that clan. We don’t have anything to do with them. Currently anyway. Just kidding. Really.

We went to Laff Spot and I was part of the headliner’s act. Not in a bad way, he didn’t make fun of me or anything. There was a lull and he had nothing to say, asked if there were any requests, no one answered, I asked where he got his watch. He said “What are we doing here? A fashion show?”

Later, Garden District Glam called and we met up with her and the other girl my husband ditched for prom that year, Haggis and Smokin, at the DJ’s Saturday gig and then went to coffee which turned out to be fun, minus the rubber pancakes. Happy Haggis. No Wet Cat Face tonight. No sir.

“No, I don’t,� Kitsy protested. “I doubt if they’d give a job like that to a woman, unless she was a hundred years old and as efficient as the mischief.

http://www.jenw.org/kitsy.htm Go here and click all the links. The quote above is your only clue. Be pleasantly, gleefully, surprised.

So, we meet my father in law, his girlfriend, Epiphany and Haggis for dinner at a local chicken fried steak establishment. The girlfriend, being from New Hampshire, claims she has never heard of chicken fried steak . . .?
Also, Haggis had the unfortunate experience of hearing a private exchange between father in law and girlfriend -

Father in law: “Hey, I’m going to the bathroom, watch my stuff.”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, I’ll watch your stuff (with innuendo)

Later, Sean gets a phone call from a long lost friend and her now famous brother. Sean says we’re on our way to IHOP and she says “Ok, we’ll meet you there”. She lives in New Orleans so this is a shock to say the least. We haven’t seen her in ten years, so we catch up with her at the John Armour IHOP which we have named for our friend, the waiter, who is incredibly familiar to us. Anyway, the waiter walks up as the long lost friend is telling us about seeing Trent Reznor at the local Smoothie King in the Garden District (where she lives), and is somewhat befuddled. On my way back from the bathroom I run into him and he gives me a puzzled look, and I say “It’s a strange night, John Armour.” BTW, according to friend, Trent is not as incredibly ‘dark’ as he wants us to think. Imagine this in your mind: Trent, a little blonde bunny, a car, skipping and a water hose . . .

Also today: Was Googling people I used to know with unusual names and found out that my neighbors mother (in Kentucky) was sexually abused by her parish priest in 1962 and with some other victims tracked him to Reno and they are seeking legal action and excommunication. This woman used to be very meek and submissive, so I’m proud that she got some balls, so to speak.

Here’s the article: http://www.rgj.com/news/stories/html/2002/05/30/15654.php
In the article she talks about how rural the area was in 1962 - believe her. I used to live in the house she grew up in, and let me tell you, she didn’t have electricity until 1949, there was an outhouse, and no city water. All of their water came from a cistern which is a device that collects rainwater. Oh, and we (my family) are pretty sure her father was a moonshiner because the stills were still up in the woods behind the house . . .

-The little church where it all happened -

Google’s like a box of chocolates, you never know . . .

Not much to say today in regards to my activities. Not anything remarkable, anyway. Although, I did get to enjoy a light show performed by our own Dear DJ, and he played a song that I requested that pained the whole place, not least of all my husband and the DJ’s themselves. What song, you ask? ‘Talk Dirty to Me’ by Poison. In my defense, I only wanted to hear my favorite line from the song which consists of only two words: cellar door. Go watch Donnie Darko . . .

For fun, visit these websites: http://www.freeweightloss.com/fastfood.html
http://www.ofesite.com/spirit/palm/palm.htm

The first one can be scary. It’s a fast food calculator. It takes you to the sites of popular fast food franchises and let’s you “order” your food and then tells you how many calories the meal has. Did you know that for the caloric price of a double cheesburger and fries you would be better off having just two double cheeseburgers instead? Kind of makes fries scary . . .

The second is a palm reading site. Pick the option that says “Read Your Own Palm”. You enter all of the info about your palm by clicking multiple choice pictures and then they email you your reading. From my reading: First let’s take a look at your Life Line. The wavey quality of your Life Line does seem to indicate that you may experience variable health, and that you may not always be very energetic. When the Life Line crosses the palm, as it does in your case, it indicates a life affected by travel. Your life may also be heavily influenced by imagination. Those of you that know me well, will find all of this to be entirely true. Not what I expected from an online palm reading ‘machine’! Of course, it’s for entertainment purposes only . . .