I’ve been tagged by Minivan Mom and here are the rules:

The game consists of answering five questions and then tagging three blogger friends to answer five questions. You can also add three categories.The questions are:

If I could be a scientist…If I could be a farmer…If I could be a musician…If I could be a doctor…If I could be a painter…If I could be a gardener…If I could be a missionary…If I could be a chef…If I could be an architect…If I could be a linguist…If I could be a psychologist…If I could be a librarian…If I could be an athlete…If I could be a lawyer…If I could be an inn-keeper…If I could be a professor…If I could be a writer…If I could be a llama-rider…If I could be a bonnie pirate…If I could be an astronaut…If I could be a world famous blogger…If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…If I could be married to any current famous political figure…If I could be an Office Supply Salesman…If I could be a Dog-show judge…If I could be a Coal Miner…if i could be a baker…if i could be a comedian…if i could be a monk…if I could be a TV commercial director…if I could be car designer . . . if I could be a postal worker.

1. If I could be a monk: Wow. That would be a hard one to pull off, but if I could be a monk, the question would have to first be - what kind? Tibetan, Catholic, Hindu? Do I want to meditate, walk barefoot over coals or make cheese? If it weren’t for having to put Christianity on the backburner, I think I go with Tibet. Peaceful bowl tapping and such while looking o’er sparkling mountains. I think I’d skip the koans though. Seems I’d just want to sit and be quiet without having to ponder whether or not the sound of Rosie Perez yapping can be heard if no one else is around. Plus, the Catholic girls who go out for that sort of thing always lose in the end. You know, Pope Joan, Joan of Arc - wait -my names not Joan - maybe I’d have a chance . . .? Hmmmm . . . cheese good . . .

2. If I could be a Gardener: One thing I’ve always dreamed of doing is living in a place where anything botanical is possible. I someday want to have a garden that surrounds my whole house and is reminiscent of Candyland. I want a peppermint walkway with star petunias, a cotton candy corner full of pink hydrangeas and the path will be tumbled glass pebbles of various colors. I won’t go into any more specifics - I don’t want any of you crackers stealing my idea.

3. If I could be a Painter: Sort of on my way to that one, but if I were a full fledged painter and people paid me the big bucks, I’d use some of the cash to paint out in the open in beautiful, remote locales like the purple mountains of Chile (or wherever the Tauk guide said that picture was taken?). Or, I could be a street painter in France, but no, that sounds boring. I could do transgender paintings like the one at the beginning of this post that I have titled Jinny as Monk In Repose.
To see the original go here

4. If I could be an Inn-Keeper: Well, you can bet your bottom dollar that it wouldn’t be at the EconoLodge on 45. No, if I were an inn-keeper I would have a small inn on some country road in the middle of nowhere on a wooded lot. It would have a sign that says “Since 1698″ and I would serve fresh homemade bread and muffins and heat up antique fire branded bed warmers for people. I’d have a deer feeder (attractive one) out back so that when people enjoyed their morning coffee they could comment about quaintness and peaceful nature and shouldn’t we move to Stepford and nevermind that last one. But seriously, I’d wear a peasant blouse and have ‘ironed daily’ swiss curtains.

(A close approximation of the above is a childhood memory of mine that you can see here. There were deer in the creek that could be seen from the dining room. You’ll have to exuse me now, I’m ferclempt. Pass the tissue.)

5. If I could be a llama rider: I’d say “I’m done with the U.S. and I’m going on walk-about.” Then I’d ride off into the sunset, or actually I wouldn’t because then I’d end up in Cali, so I’d ride south of the sunset where I’d put myself and my llama onto a cruise ship headed forVenezuela, because who really wants to cut through Mexico anyway, and we’d ride from Venezuela all through
South America hitting the hot spots like Machu Pichu and other ruins, Carnivale, Montevideo (great rental prices there) and then we’d take a time out in Peru to visit my llamas cousins. I’d meet up with Juan Valdez somewhere along the way and get the hook up on some good coffee. I’d also be sure to try some of that hot chocolate from Chocolat. I’d end up in those mountains from the Tauk guide that I wanted to paint and when I was done I’d have Sean wire me $20,000 or so and I’d set up a homestead in Chile for our retirement which would probably be shortly thereafter seeing as how $20,000 is lot of money down there.

I tag: Merrie, Haggis, Star998