Reasons to never live in the city:

1. Filth: There is filth everywhere and not just litter or unkempt lawns or concrete esplanades rife with weeds. Nope, the real filth is the pollution embedded in the benches of parks and courtyards that have been washed, but can’t ever be clean, or the blackness embedded in the concrete sides of buildings.

2. Personal Space: People in the inner city have no concept of personal space. Were I sitting in the waiting room at Tomball Hospital this morning instead of St. Lukes, the gentlemen (very nice term for these scallywags) would have sat in one of the many rows of empty chairs. Where did they sit? Right next to me. Not one chair over, or across from me - no, I had to share an armrest with one of these guys because apparently they wanted to be by the window or something. Who knows.

3. Weird Traffic Configurations: I hate all of the intersections downtown that use strange rules to direct traffic, like having to take a right because you absolutely can’t take a left (on a two way street) so you have to go down two more streets before you can make a U turn and go the direction you meant to go in the first place.

4. Inconvenience: The whole point in living in a city is to be near things for convenience. I find it quite inconvenient to have to drive four miles this way to get to the one way street going the other way and go five miles on that street to get to the gas station. Another inconvenience is having to drive 15 miles to find a McDonald’s to grab a drink or use the filthy restroom. Yes, in the country you would have to take the time to do these things, but in the country there is no confusing, stressful traffic and you can admire the view along the way instead of puking in your car at the sight of heroin junkies shuffling down the street.

5. Hideousness: Something is wrong when you can look 360 degrees all around you for 300 feet (if you can see anything that far off) and see nothing but concrete and sky. Something is wrong when you can’t see any nature, not even a pigeon. It’s like a bad apocolyptic movie.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m tired from my day of having to deal with the Medical Center and downtown Houston.

Goodnight.