Okay. So, I’m supposed to be writing a cover letter for my resume right now, but since my head’s about to blow from here to China and both poles, I thought I needed to just freak out here.

I’ve been looking at sample cover letters all day and what I really want to know is: HOW MANY OF YOU FREAKING BLOW HARDS ARE REALLY “leading a team”, HUH? HOW MANY OF YOU? Because I just don’t think that every guy or gal in every office, pizza shop and grocery store across the nation are leading teams to “results”. What freakin’ results? Every time the company makes an extra dime it was because you were blowing smoke up your next employer’s ass? If you’re leading the team and all your coworkers are leading the team - then who’s following orders? Not you - you’re no chump. Uh-uh. You’re the grand master of mobilizing highly effective programs encouraging profit acheivements for the largest financial continuity program. Oh, and hey - can you extract those marbles from my mouth now? Chump.