Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Abject Cruelty

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 2:10 pm

I went to look up information on adultery just a few minutes ago and the first site to pop up was www.ashleymadison.com, a site for married women to find lovers. How abhorrent is that? It brags, “Over 1,250,000 member sign-ups!” One million, two hundred and fifty thousand married women in America posting on this site alone. Oh, and, “Ashley Madison now Welcomes UK Members”!

Yesterday at the bookstore I was looking for books on coping with adultery or how to find out if your spouse is cheating. I found two how to’s out of a section that had over a thousand books, two on coping with it, and three or four on how women can have fufilling affairs or the excitement of having an affair. What the hell is going on??????

PS: This has nothing to do with Sean, btw.

I think I’ll go become a Puritan now . . . .

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Link! Link! Link!

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 4:11 pm

“So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!” the “South Park” creators said in a statement Friday in Daily Variety. “Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies… You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail!”

Monday, March 20, 2006

Just Read It

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 5:30 pm

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”

This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered.

“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.

“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.”

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the traveler asked.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept
pets.”

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

“Excuse me!” he called to the man. “Do you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.”

“How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.

“There should be a bowl by the pump.”

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

“What do you call this place?” the traveler asked.

“This is Heaven,” he answered.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “The man down the road said
that was Heaven, too.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.”

“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”

“No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.”

Friday, January 27, 2006

Blow Hard - Go Words Suck

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 5:13 pm

Okay. So, I’m supposed to be writing a cover letter for my resume right now, but since my head’s about to blow from here to China and both poles, I thought I needed to just freak out here.

I’ve been looking at sample cover letters all day and what I really want to know is: HOW MANY OF YOU FREAKING BLOW HARDS ARE REALLY “leading a team”, HUH? HOW MANY OF YOU? Because I just don’t think that every guy or gal in every office, pizza shop and grocery store across the nation are leading teams to “results”. What freakin’ results? Every time the company makes an extra dime it was because you were blowing smoke up your next employer’s ass? If you’re leading the team and all your coworkers are leading the team - then who’s following orders? Not you - you’re no chump. Uh-uh. You’re the grand master of mobilizing highly effective programs encouraging profit acheivements for the largest financial continuity program. Oh, and hey - can you extract those marbles from my mouth now? Chump.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Husband of the Year!

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 4:53 pm

Third Place goes to Greece . . .

Second Place to Serbia . . .

And the winner for Husband Of The Year is:

Ireland!


Ahhh . . . the Irish are true romantics . . .

At least he’s holding her hand!!!

The previous post brought to you by my Aunt. Thanks, Aunt Debbie.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Recipe Exchange

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 5:35 pm

Earlier this week some of us participated in a recipe exchange. Technically it was chain mail, but what the hey? Anyway, here are the recipes I received if you want to copy them.

Samba Chicken

6 chicken breasts
1 ½ tsp garlic salt
1 lb pkg Barilla angel hair pasta
1 tbsp olive oil
1 (10 oz) can Mild Rotel
1 cup of Hellman’s mayonnaise
1 cup of Kraft Parmesan cheese
2 tsp garlic powder
Season chicken breasts with garlic salt and grill or sauté in a frying pan until completely cooked, approximately six minutes per side. Prepare angel hair pasta according to package instructions, drain, and toss with olive oil. Meanwhile, combine all remaining ingredients in a medium sized microwave safe bowl. Microwave Samba mixture for three minutes, stirring halfway through. On a serving platter, place grilled chicken breasts over angel hair pasta and top with Samba mixture. Serves 6.

Turkey or Chicken Noodle Soup
(serves 10)

2 Cups (approx. 10 oz.) Cooked Turkey or Chicken Breast, pulled into small pieces
4 (16 oz.) Cans Fat Free Chicken Broth
1 Cup Chopped Onion
2 Cups Chopped Celery
2 Cups Sliced Carrots
2 teaspoons Dried Parsley Flakes
1/2 teaspoon Black Pepper
4 oz. (about 2 Cups) Uncooked Whole Wheat Wide Egg Noodles
In a large pot, combine chicken broth, onion, celery and carrots. Bring mixture to a boil. Stir in uncooked noodles, turkey, parsley flakes and black pepper. Lower heat and simmer for 30 minutes or until noodles and vegetables are tender, stirring occasionally.
Calories per serving: 134,Fat: 1g,Fiber: 2g,Points: 2,(12/12)

Oreo Truffles
1 bag oreos
1 brick cream cheese, softened
semi-sweet or white chocolate morsels
Crush the bag of oreos or use a food chopper. Mix in the softened cream cheese. Scoop out balls of the mixture and refrigerate for about half an hour. When they’re firm, melt the chocolate and dip the balls into the chocolate (you can also use chocolate bark but add shortening to get it to the right consistency). Let the chocolate harden. For the holidays, add food coloring to the white chocolate. You can also drizzle dark chocolate over white chocolate to make patterns or designs.
It’s a super easy recipe, and people go nuts over the result. They never guess that there are only three ingredients.

Simple Sloppy Joes
1 pound ground beef
1 medium onion
1/2 cup catsup
3 Tbs vinegar
2 Tbs water
1 Tbs brown sugar
1 Tbs dry mustard
1 Tbs Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp salt
hamburger buns
Cook meat and onion in a large skillet until meat is browned; drain
Stir in next 7 ingredients, and heat thoroughly.
Serve on warm buns
4 servings

Italian Chicken Artichoke
1/3 jar Sundried Tomatoes chopped
1/2 jar Marinated Artichokes
1cup Diced Chicken
1/2 pint of whipping cream
1/2 jar Parmesian Cheese
1/2c chopped onions
1/3c green or red bell peppers (optional)
1/3 cup or half sm can of mushrooms cut -up
1/2 stick of butter
dash pepper
dash salt
small pkg mozzerella cheese(sprinkled on top)
bowtie pasta (boiled)
boil chicken and dice up. saute onions and peppers (gr or red) in saucepan.
add all ingredients and mix together. Pour into baking dish and bake till cheese is
bubbly and brown at 375 (about 45 min)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Interesting Thought Experiment

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 10:41 am

This picture is (I think) credited to Alex Grey. I got it off Myspace.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Accolades

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 4:13 am

Thanks to Piff and D’ Arque Bishop for the beautiful site!

Monday, January 9, 2006

I Don’t Think You’re Ready . . .

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 11:37 am

Can I get this in a lamp?

Friday, January 6, 2006

FW: Scary Psychological Test

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 11:00 am

Read this question, come up with an answer, and then click on comments for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right - including me.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, She believed him to be her dream and she fell in love with him right there but did not ask for his number and no matter how hard she tried shecould not find him.

A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

Give this some thought before you answer.

Thursday, January 5, 2006

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 1:54 pm


How evil are you?

Diddling

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 1:48 pm

In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Molest more hamsters.

Get your resolution here

Useful Info - An Email from My Mom

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 11:19 am





(images are from another forward)

Most military personnel end up flying home at their own expense because stand-by flights are so difficult to co-ordinate. Some don’t come home because all their money goes to providing for their families at home and a lot of them come from poor homes where no funds are available. But one woman in Missouri City has done something about it. She began an organization that provides funds for overseas soldiers to fly home for leave. I saw her on Weekend Today this morning. The address for donations is below. If you can spare even one dollar, please send it.

Texas Overseas Military Fly Home 1-877-TOM-FLYS (1-877-866-3597)

Tom Fly Home
2525 Forest Ridge Drive
Missouri City, TX 77459

Friday, December 9, 2005

Wha Wha Wha Whaaaaat????

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 12:50 pm

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Copycat

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 2:32 am

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

Friday, November 4, 2005

Why Houston Went Non-Smoking

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 2:01 pm

Here are the top 10 places I’d never want to live.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against vegetarians (I used to be one) - just the nutjobs that jump onto the cause for trendiness sake. And where those trendies thrive freedom languishes.

Oh, and the best one is listed last.

Dog Nurses Squirrel

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 10:57 am

Check out the story and the photos.

Note: This is from Snopes - so it’s true.

Thanks to my Mom for the link.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Opera Warm Ups

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 5:21 pm

Three names I go by:
Jinny
Jenny
Jennifer
And all other incorrect spellings and derivations of Virginia, Jennifer and Jean that people want to call me.

Three screen names I have had:
Squirrelwatcher
Lemon Jinny
Issey (for Issey Miyake, my favorite perfume at the time. Now I think it stinks.)

Three physical things I like about myself:
Pupils
Eyelashes
Ankles

Three physical things I don’t like about myself:
A broken vein under my right nostril that always makes me think that people think there’s something in my nose
My big toe gets nervous and while a neurologist has verified that is indeed what’s happening, Smokin and Sean say I’m crazy
My elbows have funny dry patches that don’t go away and so it always looks like I have dirty elbows.

Three parts of my heritage:
Scottish/Irish/Huguenot

Three things that scare me:
Loud noises when I’m home alone
Beans, peanut butter or bread in dirty dishwater (actually, it just grosses me out bigtime)
Overly confident people (or really just people who act overly confident)

Three of my everyday essentials:
Knit pants or shirts
Bralessness must occur at some point during the day
Coffee

Three of my favorite musical artists:
Connie Francis
Olivia Newton John
Nat King Cole

Three of my favorite hobbies:
Travel
Painting
Crosswords

Three things I want to do really badly right now:
Blow this pop stand
Be more organized
Dress better

Three careers I’ve considered/I’m considering:
Forensics
Theater
Oceanography

Three Places I want to vacation:
Scotland
New England
Montana

Three kid’s names I like:
Nick
Trixie
Ivvy (short for Yvette)

Three things I want to do before I die:
Go to Britain
Read the whole Bible
Fix most, if not all, of my major problems (weight, laziness, debt, etc.)

Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
Chocolate lover
I hate math, science, mechanics and what men like to call logic (which women know isn’t logic at all)
I run funny

Three ways that I am stereotypically a boy:
Loved to climb trees when I still could
Girls scare the crap out of me
Four wheeling is more fun than nail polishing

Three celeb crushes:
Kirk Cameron
Patrick Swayze
Alan from Depeche Mode
(All of the above were from the time when I had crushes. Celebs I’d date now: Matthew Broderick, John Cusack, Luke Wilson)

Three people I would like to see post this meme:
Uh, I’m probly the last person this came around to - but for grins -
Haggis
PsyGuy
Smokin (when he get’s a blog)

An OMG Moment

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 12:40 am

As seen on The Daily Show.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Death Becomes Them

Filed under: General — Lemon @ 9:22 am

So you know the basic premise of the movie “Death Becomes Her”, so I won’t go much into that. I’ll just jump right into my theory, which is, that it seems possible (to my twisted mind anyway) that some of our famous people aren’t all that young. What if, what if, for years the famous having been taking magic treatments to prolong their lives into immortality, take little vactions from the spotlight, play dead and then “come back” again years later as some new engenue? I have seen many possible examples of this, and have been meaning to catalog them for years. Not only do they look alike, but often act alike as well. Here are just two:

Anne Heche is Merle Oberon

Now, even creepier than just thinking Merle became Anne, is . . .

The Empress Josephine became Merle became Anne. Actually, Merle did play Josephine in a movie. Maybe it’s a hint.

Next we have -

Harriet Beecher Stowe as Frances Conroy from Six Feet Under

I’ll add more as I remember them or discover them. Alan Cummings looks just exactly like someone, but I’m forgetting who. Of course, they dont’ exactly want you to remember . . .

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